Want a Happier Marriage? Ask yourself this Question Every day.

 

I love the month of May. The old saying, “All things seem possible in May,” really rings true for me.

Our perspective changes in the spring. Life seems full of possibilities. 

Perspective is everything in life.   

What’s the first thing that you think about when you greet your spouse in the morning?

Is it all the things he or she needs to do to make you happy?

Or...

Do you remember all the things he or she already does that brings a smile to your face?

Every single day you are faced with this all important question about your marriage:

“Am I choosing to see my marriage and my partner in a way that brings me happiness or pain?”

Asking yourself this question every day will remind you that you are in the driver’s seat.

You get to decide.

How you choose to see your relationship will be how you experience it.

What you focus on expands. 

Choosing to focus on all the good things about your spouse will make every month feel like May. How cool is that?

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage,

just click here for more information about how to set up a Discovery Session with me.

A Marriage Counselor's Personal Story

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to connect with you and share all that I've learned about having a great relationship.

I love helping couples create the marriage they really want to have.

I would imagine, though, that you would like to get to know more about who I am.

I promised you in my last video that I would share with you the secret that changed my marriage so dramatically.

That's why I've devoted this article to taking you behind the scenes and sharing a little bit about my own story, so you'll know why I'm so passionate about what I do.

Being a marriage counselor and being married can be tricky business.

Since I have access to really effective relationship tools, some people think I'm immune to marital conflict and should know better. 

But the stresses and strains of life affect all of us and can damage any relationship.

Many years ago my husband and I went through a pretty rough patch in our marriage. During this time our kids were younger, and we were each focusing on our careers while trying to raise a family.

There was so much going on - the kid's sports schedules, school projects, business meetings and on and on.

Like many couples we were in a whirlwind of "to-do's" and it began to overwhelm our relationship. We weren't making our marriage a priority and the signs of neglect became too hard to ignore.

We were beginning to feel more like roommates than the loving partners we once were.

Can you relate?

Then we discovered an Imago Relationship Workshop where we learned the skills we needed to completely transform our relationship. Our communication has improved because we learned how to listen to each other with so much more love and respect.After this amazing experience, I just had to learn all I could about Imago and I went on to become an Imago Relationship Therapist.

I can now share all those same wonderful skills with the couples I work with each day. 

My husband and I continue to have a solid and supportive connection, and I'm happy to say that we'll be celebrating our 30th anniversary very soon!

Sure we still disagree at times, but we spend less time arguing and more time really enjoying each other and having fun together.

I'm so grateful for what we created, and it's kind of scary to think how easily things could have gone the other way.

It's devastating to see a marriage crumble.

Like you, I have painfully watched close friends and family struggle in their marriages, and I've seen the devastation this has had on their children, their health, and their well-being.

Some have gone through very painful divorces because they didn't have the skills to communicate effectively with the love of their life.

And it's tragic because it doesn't have to be this way.

I've been teaching busy professionals how simple it can be to feel more passion in their marriage when they learn the skills they need to build a supportive relationship together.

In fact, I've dedicated my years of education, training, experience, and my entire heart and soul - to develop my own unique system that has helped couples improve their relationship in a powerful way.

Here's the best part...

Having a healthy, passionate marriage isn't as complicated as you think when you learn how to build a supportive relationship one loving step at a time.

I would love to help you too.

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage, click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

How are those New Year’s resolutions going? 

I don’t know about you, but I tend to overreach and try to do too much all at once. 

Then… crash and burn. Better luck next year. 

Well, let’s make it short and simple this year so that you can start creating positive change in your relationship right now! 

If your goal is to have a healthier marriage, here are three simple habits you can develop to help you make it happen. 

  • Ditch the electronics during your alone time. 

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

Are you glued to the computer or TV when your spouse is trying to talk to you?  

When you spend time with your spouse does the phone keep beeping with that “important” text?

I know that our phones are our lifeline and it’s hard to part ways even for an hour, but the lifeline for your marriage is uninterrupted quality time.

When you let these devices take center stage, it can damage the intimate connection you know you want to have. 

Instead, try to schedule uninterrupted alone time with your spouse on a regular basis. Make a habit of shutting out the world for a brief time each day to reconnect with the one you love. 

 

  • No mind-reading, please!

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

There’s nothing more annoying than having your spouse tell you what you’re thinking. It’s bound to cause some friction. 

But there’s an easy cure. It just takes tweaking your message a little and using more “I” statements. 

For example, you emphatically proclaiming to your spouse: “You never liked my mother!” (This is headed for WW 3).

Instead, try to get into the habit of describing the particular situation and just saying what you’re really feeling: 

”Last night when you made that comment about my mother’s weight, I felt angry and a little hurt.”

Same content - much better presentation.

  • Stop trying to fix the problem

This doesn't apply to the leaky faucet or the broken tail pipe. Fix away. 

I'm referring to the times you try to fix your partner’s problems and you miss the all important job of simply listening. 

So when your spouse is sharing something difficult, get into the habit of taking the time to really listen.

It takes a little extra effort, but it’s so worth it. Trust me, if your spouse wants your advice, you'll know it!.

Besides, it’s so much easier to listen rather than having to come up with all those fancy solutions all the time. What a relief! 

And listening is almost always what your spouse actually needs from you. Don’t underestimate the power of your focused attention. It’s invaluable. 

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

Just changing a few habits here and there can make a big difference in your relationship and it might even make this new year the best ever!

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage, click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.

 

How To Communicate With Your Spouse The Smart Way!

Have you ever blurted out something stupid and insensitive in an argument with your spouse and you instantly wish you could push the rewind button? 

How To Communicate With Your Spouse The Smart Way!

Well, here's a little tip that might give you a  "Get out of jail free" card. 

Ask your spouse for his or her opinion. Say something like, “How do you see it?” or “What’s your take?” This opens up the possibility of dialogue and it leaves room for an honest discussion instead of a fight. 

So the next time you find yourself backed into a corner by your own thoughtlessness try asking your spouse for their opinion on the subject.

It could mean the difference between a night at the fights…

And a night to remember!

For more ideas about communicating with style check out my free resource: