Is this a familiar scenario? You come home from work and your spouse starts complaining about his or her day. You immediately go into “fix it” mode and say — “Well, what you need to do is…”
This may seem like the logical thing to do, but don’t do it. Your spouse wants to be heard, not told what you think he or she should do.
Try this the next time your spouse starts talking about problems- Just listen.
Instead of jumping in with a solutions Try saying: “So what you’re saying is…”
Then mirror back what you heard. You can check in to see if you got it, to make sure you heard what was actually said.
There’s a good chance your partner will begin to feel validated and understood and this feels so good and is so good for your marriage!
Wouldn’t it be great if there were a way to talk so your spouse would really listen?
I’m hearing you!