For many people January is somewhat of a letdown. The holidays are over, it's cold outside, and we're usually left with a few extra pounds from overdoing it in December. But to me the new year means a new beginning, a fresh start, and as Oprah Winfrey cheers- "a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
You have a golden opportunity in this brand new year to bring a spirit of positive change into your marriage. Even in these barren days of winter a new perspective can begin to blossom.
Isn't life all about perspective? I often tell my clients that I believe life is 99.9% perspective. How we choose to see the world is how we will experience it. So,it's not a matter of overhauling your whole relationship. That can feel like a daunting challenge. Maybe it's just a matter of tweaking your perspective- just a little. Noticing, perhaps for the first time in a long while, the good that was there all along.
It's like Dorothy's ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz. I love that amazing scene when the Good Witch revealed to Dorothy the value of those slippers. She had been wearing them all along without realizing the power they possessed. In that moment Dorothy discovers she wasn't asking the right question. The question was not, "How do I get what I want?" The real question was, "How do I recognize what I already have?"
You need to polish that old gemstone and discover how beautiful and precious it really is. That gemstone of course is your spouse!
Here are 3 steps you can take right now to make the New Year's Resolution that really counts:
Begin to focus on what you love about your spouse. Make a list to remind yourself. Read it often and don't forget to share these precious insights with the special person who inspires this affection.
Be kind. This quote says it all. So simple, yet so powerful!
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Practice seeing things from your spouse's "perspective" instead of your own. You'd be surprised how much you can learn when you adopt an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment.
So I guess January isn't such a letdown after all. Ah, the beauty of PERSPECTIVE!
If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage:
click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let's make this year our best year ever!!