A Marriage Counselor's Personal Story

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to connect with you and share all that I've learned about having a great relationship.

I love helping couples create the marriage they really want to have.

I would imagine, though, that you would like to get to know more about who I am.

I promised you in my last video that I would share with you the secret that changed my marriage so dramatically.

That's why I've devoted this article to taking you behind the scenes and sharing a little bit about my own story, so you'll know why I'm so passionate about what I do.

Being a marriage counselor and being married can be tricky business.

Since I have access to really effective relationship tools, some people think I'm immune to marital conflict and should know better. 

But the stresses and strains of life affect all of us and can damage any relationship.

Many years ago my husband and I went through a pretty rough patch in our marriage. During this time our kids were younger, and we were each focusing on our careers while trying to raise a family.

There was so much going on - the kid's sports schedules, school projects, business meetings and on and on.

Like many couples we were in a whirlwind of "to-do's" and it began to overwhelm our relationship. We weren't making our marriage a priority and the signs of neglect became too hard to ignore.

We were beginning to feel more like roommates than the loving partners we once were.

Can you relate?

Then we discovered an Imago Relationship Workshop where we learned the skills we needed to completely transform our relationship. Our communication has improved because we learned how to listen to each other with so much more love and respect.After this amazing experience, I just had to learn all I could about Imago and I went on to become an Imago Relationship Therapist.

I can now share all those same wonderful skills with the couples I work with each day. 

My husband and I continue to have a solid and supportive connection, and I'm happy to say that we'll be celebrating our 30th anniversary very soon!

Sure we still disagree at times, but we spend less time arguing and more time really enjoying each other and having fun together.

I'm so grateful for what we created, and it's kind of scary to think how easily things could have gone the other way.

It's devastating to see a marriage crumble.

Like you, I have painfully watched close friends and family struggle in their marriages, and I've seen the devastation this has had on their children, their health, and their well-being.

Some have gone through very painful divorces because they didn't have the skills to communicate effectively with the love of their life.

And it's tragic because it doesn't have to be this way.

I've been teaching busy professionals how simple it can be to feel more passion in their marriage when they learn the skills they need to build a supportive relationship together.

In fact, I've dedicated my years of education, training, experience, and my entire heart and soul - to develop my own unique system that has helped couples improve their relationship in a powerful way.

Here's the best part...

Having a healthy, passionate marriage isn't as complicated as you think when you learn how to build a supportive relationship one loving step at a time.

I would love to help you too.

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage, click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

How are those New Year’s resolutions going? 

I don’t know about you, but I tend to overreach and try to do too much all at once. 

Then… crash and burn. Better luck next year. 

Well, let’s make it short and simple this year so that you can start creating positive change in your relationship right now! 

If your goal is to have a healthier marriage, here are three simple habits you can develop to help you make it happen. 

  • Ditch the electronics during your alone time. 

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

Are you glued to the computer or TV when your spouse is trying to talk to you?  

When you spend time with your spouse does the phone keep beeping with that “important” text?

I know that our phones are our lifeline and it’s hard to part ways even for an hour, but the lifeline for your marriage is uninterrupted quality time.

When you let these devices take center stage, it can damage the intimate connection you know you want to have. 

Instead, try to schedule uninterrupted alone time with your spouse on a regular basis. Make a habit of shutting out the world for a brief time each day to reconnect with the one you love. 


  • No mind-reading, please!

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

There’s nothing more annoying than having your spouse tell you what you’re thinking. It’s bound to cause some friction. 

But there’s an easy cure. It just takes tweaking your message a little and using more “I” statements. 

For example, you emphatically proclaiming to your spouse: “You never liked my mother!” (This is headed for WW 3).

Instead, try to get into the habit of describing the particular situation and just saying what you’re really feeling: 

”Last night when you made that comment about my mother’s weight, I felt angry and a little hurt.”

Same content - much better presentation.

  • Stop trying to fix the problem

This doesn't apply to the leaky faucet or the broken tail pipe. Fix away. 

I'm referring to the times you try to fix your partner’s problems and you miss the all important job of simply listening. 

So when your spouse is sharing something difficult, get into the habit of taking the time to really listen.

It takes a little extra effort, but it’s so worth it. Trust me, if your spouse wants your advice, you'll know it!.

Besides, it’s so much easier to listen rather than having to come up with all those fancy solutions all the time. What a relief! 

And listening is almost always what your spouse actually needs from you. Don’t underestimate the power of your focused attention. It’s invaluable. 

Break These 3 Bad Habits and Have a Healthier Marriage

Just changing a few habits here and there can make a big difference in your relationship and it might even make this new year the best ever!

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage, click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.


How To Communicate With Your Spouse The Smart Way!

Have you ever blurted out something stupid and insensitive in an argument with your spouse and you instantly wish you could push the rewind button? 

How To Communicate With Your Spouse The Smart Way!

Well, here's a little tip that might give you a  "Get out of jail free" card. 

Ask your spouse for his or her opinion. Say something like, “How do you see it?” or “What’s your take?” This opens up the possibility of dialogue and it leaves room for an honest discussion instead of a fight. 

So the next time you find yourself backed into a corner by your own thoughtlessness try asking your spouse for their opinion on the subject.

It could mean the difference between a night at the fights…

And a night to remember!

For more ideas about communicating with style check out my free resource:

Marriage Makeover: 3 Steps To a Better Marriage In The New Year!

Marriage Makeover: 3 Steps To a Better Marriage In The New Year!

For many people January is somewhat of a letdown. The holidays are over, it's cold outside, and we're usually left with a few extra pounds from overdoing it in December. But to me the new year means a new beginning, a fresh start, and as Oprah Winfrey cheers- "a new year and another  chance for us to get it right."

You have a golden opportunity in this brand new year to bring a spirit of positive change into your marriage. Even in these barren days of winter a new perspective can begin to blossom. 

Isn't life all about perspective? I often tell my clients that I believe life is 99.9% perspective. How we choose to see the world is how we will experience it. So,it's not a matter of overhauling your whole relationship. That can feel like a daunting challenge. Maybe it's just a matter of tweaking your perspective- just a little. Noticing, perhaps for the first time in a long while, the good that was there all along. 

It's like Dorothy's ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz. I love that amazing scene when the Good Witch revealed to Dorothy the value of those slippers. She had been wearing them all along without realizing the power they possessed. In that moment Dorothy discovers she wasn't asking the right question. The question was not, "How do I get what I want?"  The real question was, "How do I recognize what I already have?"  

You need to polish that old gemstone and discover how beautiful and precious it really is. That gemstone of course is your spouse!

Here are 3 steps you can take right now to make the New Year's Resolution that really counts:

  •  Begin to focus on what you love about your spouse. Make a list to remind yourself. Read it often and don't forget to share these precious insights with the special person who inspires this affection. 
  • Be kind. This quote says it all. So simple, yet so powerful!




  • Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Practice seeing things from your spouse's "perspective" instead of your own.  You'd be surprised how much you can learn when you adopt an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment. 

  So I guess January isn't such a letdown after all.  Ah the beauty of PERSPECTIVE!

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage:

 click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Let's make 2016 our best year ever!!

Merry Marriage! Give Your Spouse the Best Holiday Gift!

Merry Marriage! Give Your Spouse the Best Holiday Gift!

Presents, presents, and more presents! That's what everyone's thinking about this time of year.  We're all searching for that perfect present for that special someone. 

What if that perfect present were absolutely free because you already have it to give? 

Well, look no further. That perfect present is- drum roll please... YOU. 

It's your presence.

(I couldn't resist a little holiday pun;)


Merry Marriage! Give Your Spouse the Best Holiday Gift!

Your presence is the greatest gift you can give your spouse this holiday season. The hustle and bustle of life pulls us in all kinds of directions all year long. 

It seems that couples have so little time to spend together and enjoy each other's company.

Why don't you decide that this year will be different?  

In my work with couples II talk a lot about the stages in a committed relationship and those of you who have worked with me know that my goal is to help couples evolve into the Conscious Love Stage. I call this the "Make it Happen" stage. So, instead of waiting and wishing that you had more time together - MAKE IT HAPPEN! When you make a decision to spend some quality time together it will happen. Need some ideas?

•    Hot Chocolate Rendezvous

Cuddle up by the fire with your favorite blanket and two steamy cups of hot chocolate. You can even roast some marshmallows or make some yummy S'mores together. Don't have a fireplace? No problem. Grab that favorite blanket, a thermos, and a picnic basket and take it to the park.

    •    Dinner for Two

Short on cash or time for a dinner date at that fancy restaurant? Then bring the restaurant to you. Light some candles, put on that romantic music, and dust off those fancy dinner plates you save for special occasions. If you love to cook you can whip up your favorite meal or just bring home some take-out and enjoy it with a romantic, elegant flare.

    •    Winter Wonderland Fun

If you want to have some fun burning those extra holiday calories try some fun winter sports together. Head for the slopes or the ice rink or maybe catch a hockey game together.

It just takes a little imagination and a splash of determination to spice up your relationship. So what are you waiting for?

Wishing you all a very blessed, safe and happy holiday season!

Hope you found this newsletter insightful for your marriage.

If you can think of one person who would benefit, please use the share link below to spread the word. 

Are you still struggling in your marriage? 

If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage:

 click here to set up a Discovery Session with me.